june 1, 2008

(retrogrde old marfa writings from this summer 2008............)

Entry #1 of the Summer "Blog":
June 1, 2008

its funny, when we have these moments where we think everything is all ahead of us, that we are indefinately young, we stare out of the classroom window with disdain for the present moment, the teacher in curls and high-pitched voice, the chalk dust in the air.

i remember watching the dust motes in the air outside of my fifth grade classroom window, and the slant of the sun, magic square, and thinking it was an important moment. a moment that congealed, and afternoon Denver sunlight that stiffened and froze, light that became solid through the leaves of the trees.

it seemed all in front of me then, maybe it was second grade, i still remember my teacher's face and the feeling of upcoming escape.

late spring (slanted light!) through trees, reaching to the second floor classroom, crowned.

the quietness of green halls, nurses offices, phones, ringing, empty lockers.

at some point you realize that time catches up, and those still frozen moments of light falling on you are mostly past..

that thickened light that gathers itself in the afternoon, and quietly masses in pools, just under the front door green gold dust specks sunsmote...

particles of dust in sun,,,

i had a dream once that a mantle of light fell on my shoulders, crowning me, in my parents' green living room, flecked with mirrors, and polished wood, 'mantle' and the voice that said it spelled it out...

in the air
i think of words like 'smote, smite,
storm'
and i think of light falling
Caravaggio's 'Conversion of St. Paul'
man struck dumb mute under
sideways horse
bathed in light
sunswept
church bells
manic wind outside the open door
flecks of sun shadows in the
door fast
like the wind tossing the dust in the yard.
white curtains breathing light in and out
bright electric light
church song
dogs peacocks roosters
powerlines
i can hear the hammock turning over.